Motherflipping Flash-As Florentine Bites

I bloody love me a bit of chocolate nutty action in almost any form so these Florentine jobbies had a damn good chance of being a winner for me. But we’re not just talking nuts and chocolate here my friends, you don’t get the title ‘Flash-As’ without doing something a bit fucking posh and that’s where the ginger and orange zest come in to add some zingy citrusy surprise. See, even zest sounds flash, I could have just said orange peel and it would have sounded like I was using food scraps. But I can assure you, there’ll be no scraps left where these choco-nutty no-naughty treaties are involved.

Only posh fuckers use ginger and orange zest right?
Only posh fuckers use ginger and orange zest right?
Get this stuff

Florentine mix

2 cups mixed nuts & seeds – I used almonds, cashews, walnuts, pepitas & sunflower seeds  but there’s no magic recipe just go with what you like, or more often in my case, what you have on hand

1/4 C shredded coconut

1/4 C goji berries or sub in raisins, sultanas or other dried fruit of your choice

1/4 C chopped crystallied ginger – optional but in my opinion a bit of zingy ginger goodness makes this bad boy next level delish

1/2 – 1 C dates soaked in hot water for at least a few hours to soften

2 T rice malt syrup

1 T coconut oil

zest from one large orange

Chocolate Gloop

4 T coconut oil

3 T rice malt syrup

3 T cacao

1/4 t vanilla

a few grinds of pink salt

Do this with it

Grease and line a 15 x 15 cm tin or something around about that size. Here’s a clever trick, if you leave enough baking paper hanging out over the sides of the tin it’ll be easier to lift the slice out when it’s finished rather than trying to bash it out upside down.

Throw all your nuts and seeds into a blender and give it a quick blitz to create a mixture that’s broken down and well combined but still has lots of good chunky bits, you’re not after a boring uniform texture, half the beauty of this slice is never knowing what treats you’ll strike in each bite.

Toss the mixture into a bowl and add the coconut, gojis and ginger then give it all a good mix to combine and put it to one side while you create some sticky date paste.

Drain the dates but reserve the liquid for now, put the dates, rice malt syrup, coconut oil and orange zest into the blender and puree that shit up into a smooth paste. If it’s too thick or sticky add a splash of the date soaking water to help loosen it up but do it gradually, we’re talking a teaspoon full at a time, or you’ll end up with a sloppy mess.

Once you’ve created a nice smooth gloop pour it into the nut mixture and then mix to get it all well covered and combined. The paste is basically your glue, what’s going to hold the slice together so you need to put a bit of elbow grease into it and really make sure it’s well involved.

Pour your perfectly bound mixture into your tin, pack it down nice and tight like and shove it in the freezer to start setting while you make the chocolate topping.

Of course that makes it sound like there’s some sort of work involved with making the chocolate, there’s really not. All you need to do is gently melt the all the ingredients together and mix the bejesus out of it to create a gorgeous thick, glossy chocolate mixture. Best you do the technical finger lick taste test here just to confirm it’s as bloody delicious as it looks but I can assure you it will be.

Pour the chocolate over top of the slice base, smooth it all out evenly,  lick the spoon and bowl just to confirm your initial assessment of the chocolate,  then put it back in the freezer to set for a few hours or ideally overnight.

Once the top has hardened and the base has firmed up you’ll be able to lift it out of the tin using those nifty overhanging edges we talked about earlier. Now your can slice it into bite sized chunks, the size of the chunk will depend on the size of your bite of course!

I contemplated making these into actual individual florentine biscuits but all that individual shaping and dunking and shit sounded like way too much hard work and I had to have a lie down just thinking about it. But if you’re not as much of a broken arse as me and you want to get proper fancy pants on it you could shape the mixture into rounds then put them i the freezer to set for a few hours before dunking them in chocolate or smearing the chocolate on top. The fact that they’re cold from the freezer will mean the chocolate should firm up almost immediately on contact then just chuck them back in the fridge or freezer to finish the job off.

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