You know when you get to that mid afternoon point when you hit a wall and need a little pick me up? Some people refer to it at the 4pm slump, I call it ‘I’m going to cut some motherfucker o’clock’, and given that the motherfuckers I’m usually hanging out with about that time are my kids I need a remedy pronto. And this is it. Creamy salted caramel protein fudge made from a dreamy blend of coconut, cashew and macadamia. A chunk of this bad boy is the perfect little protein packed fat bomb to kick my tired arse up, over and through the afternoon wall without violence or a subsequent prison sentence. Which is good, because I quite like those little people in their undamaged, uncut fullness, and also despite my Orange is the New Black obsession, I like not being a prison bitch.
And seriously, don’t freak out at the mention of fat bomb. Fat is not the enemy, fat is your friend, it helps keep your blood sugar stable and prevent the nasty spikes and drops that sugar triggers that in turn send you looking for more sugar, and that’s a nasty little game to play. Fat also ranks super high in the satiety stakes, so it’ll keep you feeling full to get through to the next proper meal so it pretty much trumps the table as the best weapon in the war against afternoon hungry-angry-stabby attacks.
Get this stuff
4 Tbl macadamia butter *
4 Tbl cashew butter *
4 Tbl full fat coconut cream (I use Ayam brand, it’s the only one I’ve found that’s pure coconut cream without any other gunk)
4 Tbl vanilla protein powder (my preference is Bare Blends, all natural, no nasties)
2 tsp nativa or granulated stevia
1-2 Tbl maple syrup or rice malt syrup (amount depends on your preferred level of sweetness)
2 tsp vanilla
1 Tbl coconut oil
1/2 tsp salt or more or less to taste
*Alternatively feel free to sub in any nut butter of your choice but be aware that peanut butter has a stronger taste and will change the flavour profile of the end result. Of course this isn’t a bad thing, salted peanut butter caramel sounds pretty fucking flash to me!
Do this with it
Blend all the ingredients except the maple syrup in a high speed blender for 1-2 minutes until smooth and creamy. Once you’ve reached that gorgeous glossy consistency add the syrup and blend to combine well. Adding the syrup lasts will stop the mixture from splitting into a nasty mess.
In the absence of a blender and presence of desperation I have also made this by hand. Just heat all the ingredient together gently, saving the syrup until last again, then mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork which has the added advantage of being a bloody good arm workout. It won’t be quite as smooth as a blender version but still damn tasty.
Pour into a greased and lined container then whack it into the freezer to set. Cut into squares (or y’know, whatever your geometric preference is), store and eat straight from the freezer.
Below is the Chocolate Peanut Butter version where I subbed in Mayver’s Peanut Cacao spread in place of the cashew and macadamia butters and it worked a bloody treat. If you’re not lucky enough to have access to Mayver’s just use plain peanut butter plus 1-2 tablespoons of cacao or cocoa depending on how dark you like it. This may make the mixture a bit dryer so if it isn’t coming together smoothly add a little more coconut cream to rebalance it.