There are some days when my kids are so fucking cute and delicious they may as well be made of chocolate because I just want to devour them. On those days I try to revel in the uncharacteristic good behaviour before the bubble bursts, because trust me, it always bursts, and that is what we call natural contraception.
Then there are other days when I’m tempted to smear them in peanut butter and leave them out for the neighbours dog to lick into submission. Don’t worry, he’s a big softie and I’m pretty sure toothless, it’d be a pretty slobbery punishment but an entertaining spectacle I’m sure and would do wonders to ease my parental frustrations.
It was one of those delicious kid days that I created this recipe; there were no tantrums, no unwinnable arguments with the twonado and no damage to person or property by either kid which inspired me to treat them to some freshly baked chocolate cutie cookies.
These cookies have passed all rigorous tiny critic testing in our house, they’re routinely devoured followed by polite demands for MORE – just check out fast hands Eddie here, he can’t get his chubby mitts on them fast enough! Fair enough too, I’m a bit of a fan of them myself; they’re rich and chocolatey without being overly sweet and the right balance between firm and fudgy so that the little guy with only eight teeth can manage without having to slobber them to death.
I make all my kid snacks nut free these days so they’re lunchbox / daycare/ playgroup safe. I’m shit scared of accidentally sending the kids off to playgroup with nut-based snacks and I really don’t want to be responsible for triggering some beastly allergic reaction in someone else’s child!
They’re also gluten, grain, diary and refined sugar free and with only a few ingredient they take mere minutes to throw together, perfect for the perpetually disorganised parent like me!
Get this stuff
1/2 C coconut flour
1/2 C arrowroot/ tapioca flour
2 Tbl cacao or good quality dark cocoa
4 Tbl rice malt syrup heated to runny
2 Tbl coconut oil melted to liquid
1 egg, beaten
Pinch of salt
Do this with it
Preheat the oven to 160 degrees and line a tray with baking paper
Sift all the dry ingredients and combine well in a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Pour in the melted coconut oil and rice malt syrup then mix lightly to combine before adding the egg – if you egg at the same time as the hot liquid it’ll scramble and while scrambled eggs are one of my favourite go-to one minute meals in cookies, not cool.
Mix well with a wooden spoon to start with then get your hands in there. It may seem a little crumbly at first but once you get a bit of muscle action going it should all come together it a smooth dough. If it’s really not pulling together add just a teensy bit of milk of your choice, I’m talking a tablespoon at a time, just enough to moisten it into a big lump of dough.
Roll into teaspoon-ish sized balls and then flatten them into biscuits on the tray, this usually makes about 22 kid sized cookies.
Bake for 8-10 minutes only then remove from the oven and transfer to a rack. They’ll still be soft to touch after this time but will firm up as they cool. If you cook them for too long you’ll end up with tooth-breaking rock cakes – I know this from jaw damaging experience!
As an aside smooshing a couple of these together with some fancy nut butter and chia jam is also a pretty fucking tasty grown up treat, kinda like s’mores on smack – the kids don’t have to have all the fun right?!