I used to buy nut milk until I discovered how much of an insulting piss take most of them are. At an average of about 2.5% nuts plus thickeners, emulsifiers and a delightful array of other bullshit, it’s really water with nut traces and may as well be actual scrotum juice. And fuck paying $5 or more a pop for that, there’s more than enough water and bullshit (and scrote juice) available for free thanks very much!
If you want proper nut milk it’s actually ludicrously easy to make at home, it takes all of about 57 seconds and with about 25% nut content it shits all over that supermarket crap in a carton. My go-to milk of choice is cashews because 1. it’s delicious and 2. there’s no straining required which pleases this fucking lazy girl immensely. When the cashews are soaked they’re super soft and just blend right into the milk making it super smooth and creamy which means no messy admin and no waste of nut pulp, and for a busy (lazy) tightarse wench like me that makes it a total winner.
All it takes is three easy steps:
- Soak 1 Cup of raw cashews in 2 cups of water for at least 4 hours or overnight
- Drain, rinse well, throw in the blender with 3 Cups of filtered water (or tap water if you like a bit of roughage), a pinch of salt and 1-2 tsp of sweetener or a date or two if you fancy
- Blend for 30-60 seconds depending on the grunt level of your blender, basically until you have a smooth, lump free, creamy milk
Et voila. Fresh, creamy, bullshit free nut milk that’s actually made from nuts. Store in the fridge and give it a good shake before use. In theory it should be good in the fridge for about four days but a litre never lasts that long around here!