‘Mum, Mum, Mum, I want a nana’
Takes two bites, ‘I all done’
Fucking two year olds.
And that is why I have a freezer full of abandoned bananas. Sure, they’re great for smoothies but there’s only so many of those a household can go through, so in desperation to reclaim some of my freezer space I’ve changed gears to banana bread.
I’ve tried many versions over years in my attempts to fool the kids into eating their cast offs and, being the lazy low maintenance tart that I am, my recipe has evolved into this fail safe, zero fucks, one bowl wonder. It’s nothing fancy but it is a solid, staple crowd pleaser. Even the four year old who has a pathological aversion to bananas, screams if her brother comes to close while eating one, and will probably shrivel up and die if it actually makes skin contact loves this stuff. I suspect the kids love of it is mostly because if it looks, walks and talks like cake it is fucking cake in their opinion so why should I correct them? Stealth health food is every underhanded parents friend when it comes to
Get this stuff
2 to 3 very ripe bananas or 2 narnies + 1 med zucchini finely grated if you want to get a bit of extra stealth health veggie bombing in
1/3 cup melted butter or coconut oil
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1/2 cups coconut sugar (or your sugar or sweetener of choice)
1 large egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups of spelt, oat or buckwheat flour rolled oats whizzed to flour consistency
Do this with it
Pre-heat the oven to 170 degrees and line a baking tin because you’re a goddam well prepared kitchen ninja and that’s the sort of shit they do.
Sort yourself out with a big bowl, throw the bananas in and mash ’em good. Stir through the melted butter then follow with the sugar, baking soda, vanilla and egg. Finally add the flour and mixth mixth sixth as the two year old says (he shits me to tears but he’s still bloody cute).
Pour into the loaf tin and bake for 50-60 minutes until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.
Allow to cool like a little banana Fonzie then devour.