Shop The Fun Filthy Shit


Fuck yeah, let’s do this shit! Clean Eats From a Filthy Mouth official merchandise is here and I’m your Merch’ Berch bringing the fun home to you. Now you can wipe fucking filth all over your clean dishes, wear your wine wisdom on your chest and display your fucking legendary status while you haul your groceries – or more importantly – wine.

Stock is here and SHIPPING NOW for delivery into your hot little hands in time for Christmas, so you can do all your festive gift shopping right here, because wouldn’t Nana just love a fabulous fuck tea towel to polish the china with?!

And because I like to make things easy for you I’ve set up a fancy pants online shop where you can fill yer trolley and yer boots and that clever bastard thing will take care of all the billing admin and shit – check it our here. Or, if you have any questions or just want to do it the old fashioned way feel free to email me directly at with your order and delivery address, I’ll send you a Paypal invoice for the goods, you pay the bill, I send the fun shit pronto. Easy.


Product Details

Tea towel – Black text printed on white tea towel. Extra large sized 50×70 cm size in high quality 100% cotton, good and thick, perfect for the sneaky post dish drying wet tea towel arse whip.

Apron – Wear your fucking legendary status with pride in this high quality 100% cotton apron in sleek and sexy black with white print. Adult sized 85x70cm with plenty of hand wiping space to save the ‘I just cooked some awesome shit’ clothing smears or just to wear round the house naked if that’s your thing.


Tote bag – White text printed on black apron. Generously proportioned 40x45cm, 10cm gusset, 55cm handles made from sturdy cotton drill, spacious and strong enough to carry all the essentials home from the supermarket, i.e. several bottles of wine and veggies and shit.


All prices are in AUD, include GST and exclude postage:

Tea towel $20

Apron $35

Tote bag $30


Australia $8.50 standard parcel post with tracking

New Zealand $10 – 12 economy post (10 business days, no tracking)

$20 standard (6 business days with tracking)

Rest of the world – hit me up and I’ll sort you out with a price


Fuck Verb Tea Towel $20
Fucking Legend Tea Towel $20
Fucking Versatile Tea Towel $20
Wine Wisdom Tea Towel $20
Fuck Verb Tote Bag $30
Fucking Legend Apron $30